Sent from Linny Lee:
Just in case some of you out there think that life is a bowl of cherries and we have bonded well and all is fairy tale-ish...thought I ought to spread a little light on the whole older child adoption thing.
Jubilee is adjusting. She is sweet and happy....some of the time. But when she's not? Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
Our guess is that in the foster home she was in the last 2-1/2 years not once did she hear the words "share" or "no". OH my. Oh my. Oh my.
We have bought treats for everyone at home. BUT even though we have explained that, she has this idea that if she's holding the bag, it's hers. Big surprise coming when she meets her boatload of siblings waiting at home. =) OH my. Oh my. Oh my.
So yesterday we went to Starbucks. It's just a stones throw from the Victory Hotel here on Shamain Island. It probably was put there by Mr. Starbucks while thinking of families adopting older children. =)
We had been to the Starbucks before and each time bought a fruit cup amongst other treats. Well yesterday we got our goods and sat down. I opened the fruit cup and Emma took a piece of watermelon off the top. To which Jubilee in one swift motion grabbed the piece off Emma's fork and flung the piece perfectly back in the cup while saying something very unkind sounding in Ch*nese.
I promptly took a piece and popped it in my mouth. To which Jubilee contorted her face and yelled at me. I then encouraged Emma to help herself, and I did too. She only got madder. This was a test and I was not about to fail. She started to scream and pitch the hissy fit of the century. It was so much fun to be in a foreign country, have your almost 8 year old screaming things in her native tongue and people who look just like her staring like I was from outer space. OH my. Oh my. Oh my.
Emmy and I pretended to be enjoying our time oblivious to her screaming like a naked lady. As her screaming continued, Emmy and I packed our stuff up and I carried her outside and down the street (she refused to move herself). We did not pass one Westerner.....just Ch*nese who gave us not-so-sweet looks. It was ridiculous and it was more than embarassing. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
I am pretty convinced they heard her screams all the way in Hong Kong. Aye-yi-yi. All because Emma took a piece of watermelon. Nice.
She screamed all the way to our room where I sat her on her bed. She proceeded to scream for the next 1/2 hour. I got out a deck of cards and laid on the other bed playing Solitaire and Emma went on the computer. We pretended that we were oblivious to her behavior.
She never once shed a tear. It was just a hissy fit, pure and simple.
Finally when she stopped I sat and told her that she owed mommy an apology. I tried to get her to say she was sorry and she just shook her head no. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
There is no doubt she darn-tootin knew that she had been naughty but there was no way, no how she was about to say she was sorry. Pride comes in all sizes and crosses all ethnicities, doesn't it? Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
We had been invited to dinner with some other families so Emmy and I got ourselves ready and said that we were leaving. I decided if there was any shot at her apologizing it would be to get to go eat (the kid is a chow hound). Sure enough she quickly said, "I'm sorry Momma." Gonna' have to work on that sincerity thing....one day.
But for all watching with wonder at older child adoption.....please pray for us and the other families. It is exhausting. It is wearying. It will certainly keep us on our knees. Love is a choice. It is a commitment. Love is not about just the good times. It is also about the bad times. It is also about the ugly times.
OH My. Oh My. Oh My.
.JPG)
