Recently something happened. I was not ready to talk about it at the time. It was so troubling to my soul and so maddening to my heart. But here we are a few weeks down the road and it is so much on my mind today that I just gotta get it out.
When we were away last month, Dw and I went to a coffee shop to work on our computers. The seats we had chosen were at a counter overlooking the busiest street that exists in the small town we were staying in.
We were working away on our computers when we noticed someone outside. You can't help but look up. There she was just on the other side of the glass. Thin, dark hair, glasses, dark eyes.
Her body language was one of anxious, nervous, anticipation. Her eyes were darting back and forth looking about the street. She walked on the sidewalk in front of us to the corner of the store and peered around the corner. Back and forth. Each car that passed she craned her neck to see. She finally went into the bookstore's door stoop and stood. It was kind of drizzling out.
Back and forth. Each car that came down the street, she would peer out from her perch to get a look. Clearly she was looking for someone. A promised ride perhaps? Soon an older woman came from across the street. The woman looked probably about 65. She looked like life had not been easy.
She yelled to the young woman. The young woman yelled back, "They're not here yet." We could hear through the glass as the woman asked why the younger woman wasn't wearing a coat. She scolded her for not having one.
I sat completely taken in by the scene. I thought about the young woman. It was pretty obvious that she had some handicaps. Probably mentally challenged for starters. And she seemed so worried. She was so fragile. Bone thin. It made my heart ache. Why is it that some people have such a rough time? Her life looked painful.
We guessed that the older woman was her mom. Together they looked so sad. Pretty much outcasts by society, we thought. In no time a van pulled up and the young woman climbed in. The older woman disappeared. Dw and I said to each other, "She could be our Jubilee in a few years."
The very next day I was down at the bookstore again. This time Emmy was with me. We had come in and a different woman was working behind the counter. She was a bit older than me. I ordered my Americano and chatted with her. Somehow she told me something about her family. I can't really remember how, but she did. It wasn't just a completely superficial, "here's your coffee" kind of conversation. She seemed like a nice lady.
Anyway, Emma and I sat in the same seats Dw and I had been the day before. We got busy on the computers and a young girl, probably about 20 something came in and sat near us as well. I was working away, typing a blog post =) and so I wasn't really paying close attention.
Suddenly though, the young handicapped woman from the day before burst through the door. She was excitedly telling the lady {who had gotten me the coffee} about being at camp. She was more than enthusiastic. She was showing her the shirt she had on. It was a camp shirt. She was over the moon about that shirt, that matched everyone else's at camp.
The young woman continued, "And they even had tor-tee-lee-ahs {tortillas}!! Have you ever had one? They were so good. They take a flat ting and put stuff in it. Oh man. They were just so good. Have you had one? I mean, they were so good. I never had one before....."
At this point I realized that the woman who had gotten me the coffee was not responding. At.All. There was not even a mumbled, "mmmm" or "niiiiice" or "they sound yummy" or "I'm so glad for you" or "yes I love them too!"....Nothing. Not one word.
So I turned kind of around to see where the woman who worked at the store and made the coffee exactly was cause I was wondering how she could not have managed to say one word since the young woman walked in.
And there she was. Sitting texting on her phone. Her phone raised in an awkward position, almost shoulder height. Clearly giving the look of "I'm busy. Do you see me? I am so important. I am texting. Do you see my phone raised up almost to my head? Leave me alone."
I didn't know what to do. I was actually dumbfounded. Emma looked at me and her eyes got wide. She was thinking what I was thinking. Like, "How in the world can you be so rude to this young woman?" I began to get frustrated.
But on a dime the young woman turned and left the store. It was as if she said, "No response? I'm not wanted. I'll leave."
Before I could say anything, the young 20+ something chick who was sitting near me said, "She's so annoying."
And do you know what that woman responded? Yeah. That woman. The one who had made the coffee and was so busy texting??
"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry she's back!"
At this point I was incredulous!!
Emma and I looked at each other and our eyes were huge. And I'm certain that my clenched jaw was giving Emma the heads up that I was not going to be silent.
I sat and prayed though. I felt like if I had said anything that second, I might have not sounded like Jesus. {Except when He was throwing the money changers out of the temple, "You stinkin' brood of vipers!" Okay, so He didn't say "stinkin' but He might have if it had been in the vernacular at the time!"}
But I had to say something. I prayed for grace and wisdom. I prayed for opportunity. How exactly to open up the dialog to this ignorant woman and the ignorant 20 something year old?
I had to get out of there. I was so upset. I was shaking as I started to pack up my computer. I thought about my Jubilee. My eyes started to smart and blink back the tears. Emma met my glance. She had tears as well.
Stupid people. Stupid snobby, ignorant people. I was so ticked.
I prayed some more for grace. Cause really, it wasn't coming easily.
And then, with complete politeness, I turned and said, "That young woman who was just in here, she sure was excited."
The bookstore clerk said, "Oh, she's not really young. She's 38. She's one of the town's "special" people" as she rolled her eyes and put her two fingers on each hand up to denote quotations around "special" meaning special in a sarcastic way, accompanied with her rolling eyes.
With grace that came out of nowhere {trust me, I wanted to spit}, I said slowly {for impact}, "She seems so sweet. And really, she could be your daughter. She could be my daughter. She could be you. She could be me."
The woman turned and walked to the back of the store. She'd had enough of what I was saying. Never acknowledging at all what I had said.
In hind sight I wish I had said more. I wish I had defended the girl in front of her. I wish we didn't live in a stupid world that rejects those who don't look like "us" or act like "us" or seem to be annoying to the general population.
As I walked out of the store, I started to cry. My Jubilee. Clearly mentally handicapped. How will she be treated? Will someone, somewhere defend her should she find herself in that same situation?
Would you?
It seems to me to say nothing, gives my approval of their treatment of her. I had to say something. And what should I have said? Was it enough? {Cause it didn't feel like it was.} What have you said when people have responded with ugliness to your kids or people around you who have special needs? Please share your thoughts....it will help us all....

