I mentioned last week that I was considering sharing something that happened while Dw, Emma and Graham were in Africa. I'll be honest. All day long today I have struggled. Do I make myself completely vulnerable? Do I just share it all?
ugh.
Here's why I struggle:
It's fresh.
There have been times when I pour my heart out at our Place Called Simplicity and only a few make comments. Now, truly, I don't blog for the comments, but I do appreciate each and every one. And when I make myself very vulnerable? Yeah, well it almost feels like I've just laid open my heart and I don't know what to make of the apparent silence. It's almost creepy {to me}.
But as I was praying I felt like the Lord said, "Linny, there are women who need to hear this. Maybe even a few men. It's your story, but it will help others."
So on that note, here goes.
*gulp*
I have mentioned from time to time how I used to be controlled by fear. My life was one big ball of fear. And then the Lord set me free. It was a powerful time.
Over the years I had much opportunity to cave to fear again. Like the shark, the tornado, the mountain lion, the robbery and the stalker. But each time I stood firm.
I would NOT be a slave to fear again.
Until that flight.
Now I know that the Lord had graciously warned me about it and all that, but truthfully,
I gave in to fear. Warning or not, I did not want to fly again.
{e.v.e.r}
Then it was time to go to Africa for my sweet babies and Dw had just had his surgery and there was no way he could go. I know that was the Lord forcing me to go, and so I went.
I did great and the flights were all wonderful {many of you prayed and I thank you!}.
And we got home from Africa and life was good.
For almost four weeks.
And then our home burned down.
Hmmmm.
The trauma of the fire is still unable to adequately be put into words, so suffice it to say that I couldn't even think straight, let alone remember the promises of God given specifically for me.
{Like Galations 5:1}
It's painful to say, but truthfully, fear became a part of my life {again}.
I have never talked much about the weeks that transpired after the fire. The weeks in the hotel. The thoughts. The images. The reality.
I'll be real honest. The fear was real.
But I tried to pretend it wasn't.
And then on January 13th, 2011 {the night before the anniversary of the fire} I had a dream. No doubt, it was prophetic. I woke up remembering all the tiny details. It was so real.
I will spare all the details of the dream, but in the dream were some of our closest friends. In the dream, they were at our home to spend the anniversary of the fire with me {since Dw was in Africa}.
Really, the dream was exactly what life was about to do. Cause when I awoke, it really was the anniversary of the fire and these dear friends really were coming to have dinner with me so I wouldn't be alone cause Dw really was in Africa. It was so real it was almost unbelievable. And I was troubled. Parts of the dream were really horrible. But in the dream these friends were with me. What did it all mean and what was the real interpretation?
When I awoke, it was of course, the anniversary of the fire and these dear friends were truly coming for dinner. So when Irma arrived I asked her where JD was. She said, "I thought it was just a girls night." I said, "I had a dream last night and you both were in it, would you please call him?"
She called him and he came a few minutes later. We visited and ate together.
When we were done eating, the kids all ran off to play. I hadn't wanted to talk about the dream with the kids around. So once the kids ran to play, I started telling them about the dream. It was very detailed and it was very creepy.
I had prayed all day before my friends got there. I had a good idea what it meant.
After hearing all the details, JD said, "What do you think it means?" I said, "Well I know in the dream, I was too afraid to scream because I was completely filled with fear." With tears in eyes they said, "Linn, we were just praying for you yesterday morning. You are filled with fear."
It might sound like such a simple revelation, but really guys, it was huge. THese precious friends of ours had been praying and the Lord had shown them just how entangled to fear I had become {again}. The Lord loves me so much that He had shown me in a prophetic dream that would line up almost exactly as the day was about to transpire.
It was one of the most powerful moments in my life.
Together these treasured friends, {and my friend Carie, who was also over for dinner} these three, who had walked beside us {basically non-stop} during the days following the fire, were once again, used by the Lord to bring me to a place of healing.
Right there, we prayed together. I confessed allowing fear to enter and control my mind. I asked Christ to set me free from the chains again. I prayed about some other things that the Lord had shown me in the dream as well. It was amazing. And I felt total peace. True peace.
And courage like I haven't felt in a really, really long time.
Little did I know that the very next day,
my new courage and freedom would be tested.
There is more to the story,
but I will save that for another time.
Maybe next week.
In the meantime, there are others of you that are entangled to chains of fear. Christ came to set us free.
More specifically: If you are fearful about: flying, adopting, marrying, dating, sleeping, staying alone, fire, swimming, traveling alone, memories of pain, driving, etc. He came to set you free as well. Grab a friend, and pray together. Be set free.
"It was for freedom that Christ set you free, therefore,
keep standing firm
and do not be subject again to this yoke of slavery."
Galatians 5:1
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